Ketchum Uncensored
by LoneAdvocate
Summary: This is what happens when dense Ashy-boy gets provoked. A short parody(or tribute) of a YouTube drama event. There's a reason for the M rating.


Okay folks I'm back after a long hiatus. Though do not expect too many fics from me, it feels somewhat pleasing to return with an itch to write lol. Surprised at the reception _Unique Soulmates_ has gotten especially for a "twisted" story. Welp here comes another sick and sadistic one shot starring Ash Ketchum who uploads a video to prove a point without thinking of any future consequences for his actions. Anyone who goes on YouTube and knows about Sean from SeanzViewEnt will understand this story.

 **WARNING:** This contains nudity, strong language and offensive dialogue. Any "PC" enthusiasts may want to move on to the next fic. While there are no actual sex performing scenes like my 1st fic or any gore, it's rated MATURE for a _reason_. Slight Clemont bashing tho I am a Diodeshipper.

Again I do not own Pokemon or YouTube. If I did I'd be freakin' rich.

* * *

A camera settles on a 17-year old Ash Ketchum with rather serious expression on his face.

"Welcome everyone to 'Ketchum Uncensored', where we discuss and do whatever the hell it is we want," Ash greeted to his viewing audience. "Just to let you guys know, this video is intended for _educational purposes_. But I also got a lot to get off my-" he'd say chest, but he looks down towards his lap "-plate, if you will."

He takes a deep breath. "There's this dude named Paul. Me and him were goin' back and forth on some stuff. but this guy just wouldn't let up! He's been saying that my...manhood, my penis, my dick, my _cack_ , is small and deformed. _Deformed_ , my sweet cock _._ Well Paul, buddy, ...no, you aren't my buddy. You bitch and moan about why I do on my channel like it affects your life, so freakin' what? It's my channel and my way of life, and I'll do whatever the hell I want."

He rambles on and on about the beef he had with some kid before getting to the point."...I do have a circumcision scar, so once again this vid is for education purposes. Butters wants to go uncensored; he want to go over the limit, but the real deal is he doesn't have the nuts to do what I'm about to do cuz he's got a vagina. Cuz what I'm about to do is show my BALLS. I'm gonna show to the world that I'm not a pussy geek like Clemont and my balls are the size of grapefruits. And once again ladies and gents, this is for educational purposes, though I'm here to prove a point," he mumbles the last part out.

Ash stands up and undoes his belt, unzips and unbuttons his jeans to reveal his boxers, and bah gawd we're gonna go to the extreme because he fucking drops them as well to show his privates in front of the recording camera for his viewers-and probably more-to witness.

"Here it is, Paul! Here it is! See how nice and big it is? There's the scar and I even shaved myself. Oh and here's the scar; oh the truth hurts doesn't it? Oh, I'm showing you now, Paul you stupid son of a bitch. Here it is, for the world to see...you think I'm scared? Do you know who the hell I am?" He finally pulls his drawers and jeans up. "Do you KNOW WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH, Paul? _YOU_ CANNOT STOP ME. You wanna talk about how my little man is deformed? You wanna talk about my _cack?_ Well…"

And he takes off his jeans and boxers _again_ …

"It looks FINE TO ME! That's right; it looks fine to me! My dick looks natural and so fine…" Mercifully he puts his drawers and jeans back on; then rants quickly. "Serena likes my dick, all the girls like my dick, hell all the gay dudes like Cilan like my dick, they all bow down to it, fondle it and suck it, because Paul if i ever meet you in person I'll make you suck my dick. I'll beat the shit outta you and make you suck it like the BITCH that you are, you scumbag!"

This nutcase goes on about about he's gonna erect it in the next uncensored vid, more than Paul's brother Reggie and his girlfriend Dawn could ever erect it. Eventually he stops recording. He actually has a debate in his sadistic mind on whether or not he should upload it. _I did say it was for educational purposes, so no biggie_ , he reasoned.

Unfortunately for him it WAS a biggie. He got banned for violating guidelines and also got in trouble with the law for exposing himself on camera. After doing community service he comes home to face Delia(who was pissed off with him as she already found out) who sarcastically, yet uncharacteristically says, "Why did I give birth to you again?"


End file.
